Toxie! Say it aint so!!

The Toxic Avenger, Troma Film's C-Movie classic, is getting the remake treatment. It will be brought to us from Akiva Goldsman who's past credits include such remakes as Lost in Space, Starsky & Hutch, Poseidon, and I Am Legend. Coming down the pipe from Goldsman are remakes of The Incredible Mr. Limpet, Robotech and a reboot of the Fantastic Four.

According to Ain't it Cool News we should expect to see a family friendly PG-13 Toxie.

God damn it.

The original Toxic Avenger is one of the most grotesque movies I have ever seen! One line that stands out in my memory, "I've always wanted to corn-hole me a blind chick!" Yeah, then what happens? A guy rapes a blind woman. Now, I'm not saying that this is an ok thing to have in a movie, but if that is the starting point why go family friendly? Why not come up with a new character who is more fitting to your ideas? There are plenty of family friendly heroes out there, why not use on of them?

Toxic Avenger is one of the all time best bad movies! But it is violent and disturbing. Why try to make that accessible to kids?

This is not the first time Toxie has popped back up since his first appearance in 1984. This isn't even his first attempt at family friendly. Aside from several follow ups to the first film, he also stared in a Saturday morning cartoon, Toxic Crusaders. It ran from 91 to 93. He has also appeared in an off Broadway musical that, sadly, I still have not seen.

I can smell the bad on this one already, and it is not just the lovely aroma of Tromaville NJ, Toxie's home town. I expect this one to suck, and suck pretty hard.

10 degrees of Seperation! Sort of...

Anna Faris is set to star in the remake of the Goldie Hawn film Private Benjamin.

Will Smith is gearing up to save the world a few more times in Independence Day 2 and 3.

So lets see the string...

Will Smith in ID4 2 and 3.

Smith will also be in the Over Board remake, which originally stared Goldie Hawn.

Goldie Hawn also starred in Private Benjamin, the remake stars Anna Faris.

Ana Faris will also appear in the Yogi Bear movie, staring Dan Aykroyd as the Yogi.

Aykroyd is currently working on Ghostbusters 3...

I was hoping I could link this back to Will Smith, but no luck. If anyone can help me out that would be awesome.

There goes Tokyo! Or more likely an American coastal city...

Yesterday Variety reported that Godzilla will returning to theaters in 2012 in a film produced by Legendary Pictures and Warner Brothers.

As you may recall, even if you don't want to, this is not the first time that an American Godzilla has been attempted. Mathew Broderick went up against the monster in Sony's 1998 flop attempt at a Godzilla movie.

According to the Variety, Legendary has stated that they will stay true to the original monster and distance themselves from the 1998 film.

Sit right back…

It is one of those things we all knew had to happen eventually.
Perhaps sparked by the success of its clear spiritual successor,
“Lost,” the original group of castaways is coming back to the big
screen. By this I am obviously referring to the “Gilligan’s Island”
film expected to hit theaters in July 2011. This potential shipwreck
was announced earlier this month.

Producer Sherwood Schwartz, producer on the new film and creator of the original series (who is still kicking around at age 93. 93!), has hand picked his top choice for Gilligan. Michale Cera. Ugh... I'm looking forward to "Scott Pilgrim vs The World" but I think that I've watched Michale Cera play the bumbling idiot more then enough times. Getting old. I would use Martin Starr as the title character. Schwartz has his eye on Beyoncé Knowles as Ginger. No complaints on that one. Skipper in my mind would be Patrick Warburton.

This is not the first time we have seen the castaways since the series ended in 1967. The series was followed by two animated series and three made for tv movies.

In one of the animated series the castaways ended up stranded on an alien planet! Yep, interstellar travel is no problem, but fix a hole in a boat? You're crazy!



I want to see that movie!

The made for TV films tell the story of the castaways after being rescued an starting a resort on the island.

I think the only way to make this movie work is to make it campy as possible. Like the "Brady Bunch" movies, or "Starsky and Hutch." It needs that pure silliness to keep the audience from wondering how it is they never manage to get off the island, much like in the original show.

Most of the episodes revolved around getting off the island, which would need to be a major part of the film, but there would also need to be a villain. The original show didn't have too many antagonists. The occasional island native, and the rotating cast of characters that would periodically pop on the island and then leave. In a film... maybe pirates, or an evil land developer. Eh... that needs a little more thought...

Does anyone else distinctly remember Marmaduke NOT talking?

I know Mazur does.

The new trailer for the big screen adaptation of "Marmaduke," starring Own Wilson as the main dog, was released with "How to Train Your Dragon" over the weekend. Take a look at the trailer:



"Marmaduke" is based on the long running newspaper comic strip about a Great Dane and the havoc he causes for his owners. The Marmaduke comic strip is mostly written as one panel jokes, with no real story ever being told.
http://comics.com/marmaduke/

Looks like the Marmaduke film will largely revolve around sight gags. In the trailer we see things like “Mamrmaduke rides a surf board,” “Marmaduke hurts the cat (Geroge Lopez),” and “Marmaduke knocks down the owner’s new boss (William H. Macy).” Pretty standard “big dog” type of jokes, like what you would see in the Scooby Doo movies.

Despite the fact the fact that Marmaduke never talks in the comics, this film uses the “Animals-Can-Talk-to-Each-Other” convention. The script is reported to revolve around the tension between the mutts and purebred dogs. It looks like the main villain will be a purebred dog played by "24" star Kiefer Sutherland. That being said, it is fairly clear that this film is a commentary on the constant turf war that goes on between the gangs in Southern California.

Or, not.

This movie is a way for Mom and Dad to keep the kids distracted for an hour an a half. As far as that standard is concerned (a particularly low bar), this movie should be fine.

Slapping a familiar name onto a project is an easy way to get butts into seats. Mom and dad take the brood out to the movies to keep them happy for a night, they are much more likely to go for a name they recognize than something where they won’t know what to expect. So the studios slaps together a family friendly project about a big dog, puts Marmaduke’s name on it and BAM! Moderate success is achieved. Things like this will remain money makers for studios as long as there are parents who need to something to keep the kids distracted for any length of time.

Also, since they are catering to such a young audience, who only understands the very basics of story structure, the studio can pass off old standard plot lines with out much need to try jazzing it up. In this case we are seeing the underdog type story in the fight with the purebreds, and I suspect a story line that will play out as “By virtue of being a big dumb dog I, Marmaduke, have made some situation very difficult for my owners. All seems lost, but at the last moment I will do something unexpected and it saves the day!”

This one looks pretty bad, and I for one am not going to go see this it. But as I am pretty far removed from the target audience I am not fit judge its quality. I think the best people to pass judgment on this piece of cinema will be the seven year olds who end up sitting through it. I bet they will love it, and I’m not going to ruin it be telling them what I really think. Not that they would care. Also, I don’t know any seven year olds.

Jamie Foxx's Lavern and Shirley?

According to a TV Guide interview with Lavern and Shirley creator Gary Marshall, actor Jamie Foxx is slated to write a film adaptation of the 1970s/80s TV series. The film will feature Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel in the title roles. The film would update the characters to have a more urban feel. Lavern would have a big "L" tattoo to replace her set of monogrammed sweaters.

Nope. I'm not buying it.

Although so far the article I have been able to find denouncing the film as a fake is this one over at Gossip Cop: http://www.gossipcop.com/jamie-foxx-laverne-shirley-movie-jessica-biel-jennifer-garner-garry-marshall/

Personaly I think this is an April Fools joke, possibly created to stir interest in the film Valentine's Day (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0817230/) which starred Foxx, Beil, and Garner and was written by Marshall. It was out of theaters pretty fast and I suspect that the studio wants to make up for its losses on the back end.

If this makes it to the screen... I'll be very surprised.

Honestly I didn't expect this much material this quickly...

Popeye is getting a revamp as a 3D animated feature.

Jamie Foxx is writing a feature film based on... wait for it... Laverne and Shirley.

A release date has been set for Scream 4, 4/15/2011.

And Will Smith (dad of the star of the upcoming Karate Kid remake) is set to give us an update to 80's classic Overboard.

I'm honestly not sure where to start. Man I'm glad I checked Ain't It Cool before Lost came on.

More on all this soon...

Addams Family + Tim Burton = Good Idea?

Tim Burton, fresh off of his update to Alice in Wonderland, is now reportedly setting his sights on an revamp of The Addams Family. I tried to find solid information on Burton’s webpage ( http://www.timburton.com/ ) , but it seems to only contain information about his upcoming book of illustrations and art for his past projects. Looks like a solid edition to the coffee table of any home, yet not what I was looking for. So this report comes from a lot of internet speculation.

The buzz is that the new film will be a stop motion production and in 3D. The main source material is expected to be the original New Yorker one panel cartoons produced by Charles Addams. Although, I suspect that it will still draw heavily from the original television series from the 1960s and the films released in the 1990s, as the original cartoons provided very little context or characterization. There were also several animated series, and a second live action series dubbed “The New Addams Family.” I somehow doubt that these adaptations will have anything to do with the proposed new film.

The Addams Family has also been adapted as a Broadway musical which opened this year ( http://www.theaddamsfamilymusical.com ), currently staring Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth (I love Bebe Neuwirth, just wanted to say). There is no indication that I could find as of now if this adaptation will have anything to do with the film. I think probably not.

Stop motion animation is seen fairly infrequently now a days. Burton has had his hand in two creepy stop motion films before, holiday classic The Nightmare Before Christmas, and the less acclaimed but still well reviewed Corpse Bride.

I’m honestly not a huge fan of Tim Burton’s lately. The last film of his that I really enjoyed was Big Fish. I liked 9 and Sweeny Todd well enough but they did not stick with me like Nightmare Before Christmas or Beetlejuice. But, if someone is going to update the Addams Family I think he is the right person for it. He has the right sense of creepiness and silliness that I think the film will need. Also, the overall style and tone of the series lends it self to his aesthetic choices.

I think he would do well to choose a leading man that is not Johnny Depp and leading woman that is not Helena Bonham Carter, otherwise the film could just be a reprise of Corpse Bride.

With all adaptations I am apprehensive, but I think this has potential. And clearly, The Addams Family has been adapted for film successfully in the past, so I can not say that it won’t work. I am interested to see where this project goes.

Predators Trailer is Now Up!

The trailer for Predators is now up at IGN.com

More Predators News & Previews

Predators

Producer Robert Rodriguez has released footage of his up coming film Predators on the films web page:

http://www.predators-movie.com

A trailer is also supposed to be released today, but so far not so much.

This will be the first strictly Predator film in the franchise since Predator 2 was released in 1990, although they have appeared most recently in 2007's Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem.

This installment casts Adrien Brody in the staring role, along side Topher Grace and Laurence Fishburne. If you will let me fan-boy out for a moment let me just say that I am very pumped to see Laurence Fishburne go up against a Predator.

The film is directed by Nimrod Antal, who directed Vacancy released in 2007. Less well know in the States is his Hungarian released film Kontroll, which I absolutely love.

This installment mirrors the original in that it is about a group of people fighting for their lives in a jungle setting, although this jungle is on a different planet.

For the most part I like what I see, but what I don't like is that this film is introducing a "new, updated, nastier, meaner breed" of Predator. To this I say "why?" The Predator is already a freaking Predator!

They way I see it is that this is the fifth film to feature these monsters, wouldn't we have seen the other breed before now?

This is just a way to repackage what the audience already knows so that they think it is new. As if everyone will think "Hey, I like Predator, and if the Predator is bigger then that means I'll like it even more!" It is a lazy gimmick to sell people what they already know back to them without having to really try something new.

Will I still see it? Yeah, probably. I'm a fan of the series and the people involved. But if I was going to do it, I would leave the classic Predator as is and focus on telling a good original story using them.

Women in my Version of Bill and Ted 3

Ok, so I left out the roll of the princesses and other female characters in my version of Bill and Ted 3 from my original post because I didn't want to make the post run too long. I flushed them out in my head, but as I considered them to be parts of secondary plot lines left them out to focus on Bill, Ted and the juniors.

In a nut shell, the princesses are still on Earth. They spend the film using their political sway to convince General Oats, leader of Earth's armed forces and who you will remember as the head of the Military Academy that Ted's dad wanted to send him to in the original film and secondary character from the second film, from attacking the alien threat head on. They instead implore him to exercise peace and awesomeness.

How did they capture the Reaper? Yes, I should have explained that, but was in a hurry to post. And this also has to do with a female character, so it can go here. At the end of the film the Over Lord is revealed to be the Reaper's ex-girlfriend. She knows his weaknesses and how to exploit them, which was how she was able to capture him in the first place. They get back together at the end of the film. I also left this part out of the original post because I felt it may have been too silly.

There would be love interests for the Junior's; one a colonist from Mars; the other a resistance fighter. They would help form the new band at the end of the film. I left that part out, as I had not fully thought all of that out yet.

My Plot Out Line for a Bill and Ted 3

Didn't get a chance to post last night! Was a big day at work, followed by celebrating St. Patty's day, and falling pretty soundly asleep.

Here is my take on how to do a Bill and Ted 3:

Early on the film would explain that Rufus has gone back to his own time and will not return, so that the events of history can unfold as they should from there forward.

Wyld Stallions music has become the basis of all international peace talks, with a message of being awesome to one another as the main focus. Over the years this has also become the standard in private business and government policies.

The greatest intellectual and artistic minds of the day are headed off to a Colony on Mars where their knowledge is going to be collected and beamed out into the universe, for the benefit of any extraterrestrial life forms that may be out there. (Note- In the world of Bill and Ted the notion of cooperation through mutual respect and awesomeness has lead to great break troughs in science. Thus allowing for Martian Colonization.). The event will be capped off by a Wyld Stallions concert. Wyld Stallions would consist of Bill and Ted as the front men, The Reaper on Bass, the Jr Bill and Ted having taken Over for their mothers, on piano and key board. This will be the young duo’s first show since they have taken on those rolls. The princesses, now high powered political types, remain on Earth.

The relationship between Bill and Ted and their sons has become strained. The Juniors feel that they missed out a lot growing up because their parents were always busy with the band, trying to save the world. They also don’t know how to tell their dads that they want to start their own band in order to break out of the shadows of their fathers.

Unknown to the intrepid earthlings, they are under the eye of an power hungry alien Over Lord, hell bent on making Earth the next planet he takes Over, and making sure that he kills off Wyld Stallions, seeing them as the only conceivable threat to its own power.

The aliens attack the Colony and imprison the intellectuals and artists just before the broadcast of the concert, destroying the communications equipment that would allow for the broadcast. Upon discovering that Wyld Stallions has a new line up they become enraged. With the princesses unaccounted for the Over Lord has much to fear, knowing that he must take out the band’s full original line up to truly be secure in his victory.

A group of alien resistance fighters from many different species are able to break into the Colony under the noses of the Over Lord’s troops. They save Bill and Ted, the Juniors and a colonist that is previously established as the love interest for one of the Juniors. The Reaper is unfortunately left behind with the imprisoned Colonists, as security around him is far too high for the resistance fighters to penetrate. He is Death after all…

Once they have escaped to the safety of the resistance fighters’ ship it is revealed that the resistance against the Over Lord began when their people were visited by a bearded man in a telephone booth who gave them a copy of a Wyld Stallions CD. The music inspired them to fight for their freedom and bring about peace, and this is why the Over Lord fears Wyld Stallions so much. That is also why he stopped the concert, fearing that the music will inspire the rest of his enslaved people to over throw him.

The escapees and the resistance fighters split into two teams: one to stay behind and save the Reaper, the intellectuals and the colonists, as well as fix the broadcast equipment so they can put on the concert; the other to stow away on the Over Lord ship headed to Earth in search of the princesses so they can stop it before it reaches them.

One team will have Bill and his son; the other will have Ted and his son. This will give the fathers a chance to get to know their sons a little better, and come to realize that they have felt like their lives have always taken a back seat to the band.

The film will climax with the Over Lord being defeated in battle by the Reaper. The broadcast equipment is restored and the concert goes on as planed. With a message of peace and awesomeness being beamed throughout the universe, and the knowledge that the Over Lord has been over thrown, it inspires all of the enslaved alien races and their masters to reach an understanding, effectively ending tyranny across the galaxy.

Bill and Ted, now having gotten to know their sons better decided to kick them out of Wyld Stallions, and tell them to start their own band.

Bill and Ted 3!!

Hi Kids!

First Post!

I’ll start us off with the event that prompted me to start this blog in the first place. Last weekend Keanu Reeves was stopped by MTV’s Josh Horowitz at the Oscars, and he asked if we would be seeing Bill and Ted 3 any time soon. Keanu answered as such:

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

So what do we take form this? I take… well nothing. This clip caused a bit of buzz about the possibility of Bill and Ted coming back, but if you ask me it doesn’t look like Reeves wants us to hold our breath.

Bill and Ted have popped up in a few forms since 1992’s Bogus Journey. They had two short lived TV series, one live action (with new actors replacing the titular characters) and the other a cartoon. A proposed third film was scraped, and according to Wikipedia this became the basis of perhaps Paulie Shore’s most famous work, BioDome.

Reeves went on to commercial success, most notable as Neo in The Matrix; and least notable in The Matrix 2 and 3. He is set to be apart of the big screen adaptation of popular anime series Cowboy Bebop, as well as a Jekyll and Hyde remake.

Alex Winter is still best known as Bill, never achieving success as a name actor. He did, however, go on to direct music videos in his native England. His projects as a director of late have been for the live action installments of Cartoon Network’s Ben 10 series, which have gone on to become some of the network’s most successful endeavors. He is also attached as writer to producer Howard Stern’s remake of the Rodger Corman cult classic Rock and Roll High School. But it seems there has not been any movement on this project for sometime.

The Bill and Ted films also stared the late George Carlin, as Rufus, the time-traveler sent back to ensure the heroes pass their history exam. If a third installment in the series is to happen his presence will be missed.

So How would I do Bill and Ted 3?

The films leave off with Bill and Ted’s band, Wyld Stallions, winning a battle of the bands followed by a photo montage of how their music brought about world peace. They were married to the princesses from the first film ; each had a kid, and they were friends with the Grim Reaper. They had extensive experience traveling through time and the after life.

I would have to say the next logical step for the duo would be space. Rufus makes mention that their music aligns the planets in harmony, and one of the last images from the montage at the end of the second movie is them getting ready for a gig in space. Perhaps a gig on Mars lands them in the middle of an alien plot to destroy earth? Overthrowing the evil aliens, would result in the liberation of other enslaved alien races; and bring about the interplanetary harmony prophesized in the first and second film.

We also have to write out Rufus early on in the film, on account of George Carlin’s inability to act now that he is dead. But, if like me, you happened to catch Keanu Reeves in the movie adaptation of Constantine you know that a dead George Carlin would probably be one of the better performances in this film. SICK BURN!

Another plot line to consider, Bill and Ted’s sons from the second film would be about the same age now as their fathers were when the first film was released. The third film could focus on them.

I don't think Bill and Ted 3 is going to happen. But I wrote a plot out line for how I would do it. And I'll post it on Wednesday!

Now this is How I Would Do It!

Hello Friends!

We have seen then end of new ideas.

No. That is not true. Or at least that statement is a bit over blown.

New ideas are happening all the time! All around us! They are exciting, and bright, and wonderful! What they aren't is profitable.

Yeah, new ideas scare people, and what that means is that Hollywood is going to take old ideas that people already like, add a bunch of modern bells and whistles and sell it to the movie going public over and over again. Well, it means a lot of things, most considerably more important than the goings on of the film industry, but movies are sort of my thing, so that's what I'm choosing to focus on.

Everyday Hollywood pukes out another remake, or re-imagining, or sequel to something that came out 20 years ago. Why?! Because no matter how bad the A-Team movie is there are going to be 100 Million people who are going to go see it anyway because they already know the theme song!

Everyday when faced with another crappy remake I say to myself "Now this is How I Would Do It!"

And what makes me so qualified to say what I would do is any better then big name Hollywood types? How about a four years film school followed by a year of freelance camera work! Ok fine... I'm just some jerk with a lot of opinions. But isn't that what makes the world go around?

So, come on, let me tell you how I would do it...